Freyja's Day

Hello Vikings.

I'm on a Norse mythology kick and Friday was named after the goddess Freyja (consistent spelling of the name still TBD).  She was the goddess of fertility and sexuality.  I think any good religion, cult, myth series by rights has to have a fertility goddess (Ishtar, Inanna, Astarte and Aphrodite/Venus come to mind).  If the fact that she rides a chariot pulled by two cats isn't indicator enough of her femininity I don't know what it is.  Actually, it seems slightly masculine and torturous to do that to cats.  Anyway, Happy Friday to you...unless you happen to be a literate feline reading this on your iPad while pulling a chariot.

I had the fortune to wake up from a vivid dream this afternoon, assuming it was either midmorning or a hour before my alarm would go off.  In my dream, my brother-in-law was paddling a canoe in a pool with my wife and her sister in the canoe with us.  However, we were traveling as fast as if we had a motor propelling us.  My brother-in-law is athletic, but I am pretty sure his arms can't move as fast as a motor.  Eventually, my wife fell out of the canoe, the front edge of the canoe was sinking into the water and my brother-in-law was choking me.  I know what you are thinking: this is your standard Christmas gathering.  Then my 1 year old son tried to jump into the pool with no flotation device on.  After picking up my son, I realized the whole thing was a dream and I should probably get out of bed.  I looked at my phone and realized I was supposed to be awake now and my alarm didn't go off.  Yeesh.  I took the time to get a haircut and complimentary head massage or "listen to the barber's knuckles pop on your head" time.

At work I was happy to see both my coworker and I received packages from our wives.  His wife sends him cookies; I ask for and receive sardines.  If only he would listen to my advice and grow a mustache.  Anyway, my better half sent me coffee, macadamia nuts, six cans of sardines, smoked herring, smoked trout, almond butter, several variations of coconut and the toys below.

The red clips say "I love bacon."

My son gave away the surprise a few weeks ago when he told me, "We made you a sun catcher today!"  I put it on the computer monitor at work and now it resides on my refrigerator door.

After work I took the time to outprocess from the medical facility.  The doctor asked how I was and where I was from.  His eyes lit up when I said I'm from Pennsylvania and asked if I liked the Steelers and the Pirates, he being from the western part of the state.  Getting back to business, he was glad I had not been incapacitated and I told him I am also glad I didn't get thrown out a window.  He shook my hands and wished me safe travels.

Thinking I was done, the technician called me into another room and told me to look out the window and stand next to the table.  I thought she said, "Grip the table, take off your pants and look out the window while thinking of your happy place."  In my mind I heard the door lock and a rubber glove snap into place and was glad I double checked the sign on the front of the building to be sure I was at medical.  The tech stopped me before I embarrassed myself and told me I just needed a shot...in my arm.  Due to privacy concerns, I can't say what it was she gave me, but let's just say I think the shot explains the pink elephants I saw in the walk back to my room.

My eggs meal was regrettably relatively routine.

At least Texas Pete will make me smile.

If the CEO of Hulu is reading this, every ad does not apply to me.  I do not want a Capital One credit card, a new car or Jack Daniels bourbon.