Time to Shave

Espresso 'stache

Bare lip, circa June 2013.

In 36 hours I will go from the left picture to the one on the right, sans webbing behind my back.

Before going to sleep last night, I cleaned my dorm room, preparing for one of the last few outprocessing steps I needed to do: get an NCO to verify that I did not destroy my room, leave personal effects behind or somehow pack the bunk beds into my suitcase (it's happened before).

Dettol: kills 99% of the germs, 60% of the time.

Dettol wipes are everywhere here and last night they cleaned the dusty surfaces in my room.  My inspector said he just wants to make sure my room was in order and won't perform a white glove test.  However, he was wearing white gloves when he said this, so I decided to clean like my mustache depended on it.

While here, I carried my Oakley backpack with me everywhere (you never know when you'll need ibuprofen in the shower).  Primarily I toted my notebook and my papers, business papers, but I also took it downtown, to the gym and to the DFAC.  Here's a list of the most and least useful items I carried with me.

Most useful:
- Generic leatherman: opened cans of tuna, opened packages, cut paracord, used pliers to pull metal wire out from under cabinet (no idea what it was doing there, but I have a lower risk of tetanus now)
- Camera: Found our camera we bought in December 2006 and used it to take pictures everywhere (in case you haven't noticed).
- Notebook: Pen and paper go with me everywhere.  I wrote down items to buy (leatherman), funny things I observed (Keep Off Grass sign in the desert) and anything else.

Least useful/never used:
- Holster: never issued a weapon nor had a need for one.
- Water bottle: My BPA-free steel water bottle sat in my luggage since day one since the bottles of Rayyan are everywhere

Pretty much what happens every time you open a bottle.

- Swimsuit: Pool hours and my work/sleep hours never met on a Venn diagram.  I did lose weight, so if I wanted to lose sleep I could have tested the "lost weight vs. gained mustache attractiveness index" theory that has been on my back burner since 2006.

I finished reading Stephen King's From A Buick 8 this afternoon and now am clear with the library.  After reading it, I could gather the connection to his Dark Tower series of books, but on its own, the story was flat.  The idea was good (monster car eats people!!!), but the implementation was ho-hum (...and then it died.  The end.).  If nothing else, I read 230 pages in about four hours.

So after I had my room inspected, I ate dinner with Sam and then was treated to wings and wine (sounds like a hipster happy hour thing) at the Fox.  Sam arrived at the DFAC an hour later than planned, having found out just how comfortable body pillows can be.

Don't ask about the honeymoon.

No coffee tonight, just some Earl Grey, so I am ready for bed.  Tomorrow I will hand in my keys to the Cadillac and get to the airport.   Thanks for comin' out.

Based on true events

Col Robin Olds

Robin Olds brought us both Mustache March and the Deployment 'Stache, so I'm actually surprised that it took me till two days away from flying out of here that he make an appearance on my blog.  Tonight at the gym I was talking to a guy wearing Vibram Fivefingers and he asked me if I was a pilot.  I chuckled and told him no.  He explained that I have a Robin Olds mustache.  That's probably the best mustache compliment I've received since June 30th.  Speaking of which, my flavor saver is 3 months old today!

Six of us made our way downtown tonight for my final foray into the local area.  My wife advised me to take lots of pictures...while in the mall.  It's surprising how westernized the local city is.  No camel for dinner this time, just your typical South African Boerewors sausage and roasted lamb.

This is not for bread.

British condiments, none of which I needed.

Sausage, sweet potato and lamb.

During dinner the guys presented me with a certificate of appreciation for my work the past 100 days.  It's very considerate of them since I wasn't truly part of the cell, but sat with them and was able to broaden their knowledge base about astronomy, basic physics and how to convert from grams to pounds.      

At that bottom there is a note that reads, "What did you do here again?"

Afterwards, some of the guys wanted smoothies and Sam and I wanted (shock) coffee.  We found a French restaurant on our way out of the mall.  Sam tried to get a cappuccino, but ended up with a chocolate milkshake look-a-like in a fancy glass.  I had a double espresso with some non-paleo treats, although creme brulee has eggs, therefore it is healthy.

La France est un pays merveilleux!

surprise café 

Knowing my days are limited on base, I hit the gym for a light workout.

Squat: 5x5x185
Deadlift: 5-245
Incline Bench: 5x5x115

...followed with eggs and sausage:

Earl Grey tea to finish the night.

Dragonfly in Amber went back to the library and From a Buick 8 is in my room now.  It's only 350 pages, so I should be able to finish that in two days.

The Fighter Pilot, the Hunter and the Earl.  There must be some deeper meaning there.  For more deeper meanings, check out this.  I think it is interesting as it forces you to look at your own mental baggage.

Freyja's Day

Hello Vikings.

I'm on a Norse mythology kick and Friday was named after the goddess Freyja (consistent spelling of the name still TBD).  She was the goddess of fertility and sexuality.  I think any good religion, cult, myth series by rights has to have a fertility goddess (Ishtar, Inanna, Astarte and Aphrodite/Venus come to mind).  If the fact that she rides a chariot pulled by two cats isn't indicator enough of her femininity I don't know what it is.  Actually, it seems slightly masculine and torturous to do that to cats.  Anyway, Happy Friday to you...unless you happen to be a literate feline reading this on your iPad while pulling a chariot.

I had the fortune to wake up from a vivid dream this afternoon, assuming it was either midmorning or a hour before my alarm would go off.  In my dream, my brother-in-law was paddling a canoe in a pool with my wife and her sister in the canoe with us.  However, we were traveling as fast as if we had a motor propelling us.  My brother-in-law is athletic, but I am pretty sure his arms can't move as fast as a motor.  Eventually, my wife fell out of the canoe, the front edge of the canoe was sinking into the water and my brother-in-law was choking me.  I know what you are thinking: this is your standard Christmas gathering.  Then my 1 year old son tried to jump into the pool with no flotation device on.  After picking up my son, I realized the whole thing was a dream and I should probably get out of bed.  I looked at my phone and realized I was supposed to be awake now and my alarm didn't go off.  Yeesh.  I took the time to get a haircut and complimentary head massage or "listen to the barber's knuckles pop on your head" time.

At work I was happy to see both my coworker and I received packages from our wives.  His wife sends him cookies; I ask for and receive sardines.  If only he would listen to my advice and grow a mustache.  Anyway, my better half sent me coffee, macadamia nuts, six cans of sardines, smoked herring, smoked trout, almond butter, several variations of coconut and the toys below.

The red clips say "I love bacon."

My son gave away the surprise a few weeks ago when he told me, "We made you a sun catcher today!"  I put it on the computer monitor at work and now it resides on my refrigerator door.

After work I took the time to outprocess from the medical facility.  The doctor asked how I was and where I was from.  His eyes lit up when I said I'm from Pennsylvania and asked if I liked the Steelers and the Pirates, he being from the western part of the state.  Getting back to business, he was glad I had not been incapacitated and I told him I am also glad I didn't get thrown out a window.  He shook my hands and wished me safe travels.

Thinking I was done, the technician called me into another room and told me to look out the window and stand next to the table.  I thought she said, "Grip the table, take off your pants and look out the window while thinking of your happy place."  In my mind I heard the door lock and a rubber glove snap into place and was glad I double checked the sign on the front of the building to be sure I was at medical.  The tech stopped me before I embarrassed myself and told me I just needed a shot...in my arm.  Due to privacy concerns, I can't say what it was she gave me, but let's just say I think the shot explains the pink elephants I saw in the walk back to my room.

My eggs meal was regrettably relatively routine.

At least Texas Pete will make me smile.

If the CEO of Hulu is reading this, every ad does not apply to me.  I do not want a Capital One credit card, a new car or Jack Daniels bourbon.

Batman 'stache

Why can't I stop sweating?

Obviously that's Kilmer from "Tombstone" and it's a well known fact that Batman would win in a shoot out against Johnny Ringo.  Now, Batman with tuberculosis versus Doc Holliday...anybody's guess.  "Batman Forever" got some mediocre reviews, but I'm willing to give it another try.

Walking to the bus stop tonight another captain with a week's growth of mustache told me I have a, "Solid 'stache."  This guy is only here for a few days to help another office and he said he loves the food because it is (allegedly) not mystery meat.  A navy captain saw a picture of me with my two sons from four months ago taped to my computer monitor and expressed surprise seeing my bare upper lip.  He asked if I am going to keep my mouth sweater and then opined that it is probably "up to my wife."  To complete the facial-hair-comment trifecta, Sam told me I should at least consider taking it home with me. 

I opened the drinking cocoa tonight and was thinking "This is really similar to the hot cocoa I made with coconut milk two years ago..." when I realized I had a can of coconut cream in my desk drawer.  As I was opening the can of island goodness with my leatherman tool, the ops officer on duty came by and asked if I was going camping.  After admitting that, unfortunately, no I wasn't camping, I described my coffee augmentation tools.  He told us how, years ago, his wife made hugh batches of chicken curry, which he would take to work for days on end.  Then she started Weight Watchers and stopped making curries due to the calories in the cream.  Hmmm...that isn't as funny as I thought it would be.

Speaking of which, let's go get a curry.

Don't know why he needs the scarf; the 'stache should keep him warm.

George Clooney was getting criticism from the Huffington Post three months ago, but he looks like he's channeling Clark Gable.  His performance in "Batman Forever" was better suited to his character in "Ocean's Eleven" and its sequels.  Keep that mustache and he could be a decent Forge from the pages of the X-Men.  Not sure if Clooney has any Native American blood, but he could be a matter-of-fact engineer type.

Finally, on the bus ride back from work, another captain expressed his mustache envy.  He guessed that I had been growing my mustache for a year and that mine is so burly and intimidating.  Then he made a gesture similar to the way that Batman's cape protects his shoulders, my mustache protects my chin.

Downtown

Long day today...which is always strange to say since each day is the same length.  Anyway, ventured downtown for the second (and possibly final) time.  I have 17 days remaining here and might just have my going away at the sports bar (they have Shiraz now!).

Driving around town I saw a billboard with a picture of a juice smoothie and the words, "Test our fresh juice."  I'm assuming that was supposed to be "taste." 

We found the BAM (Big Ass Mall) and walked around a little bit.  It really reminded me of the Fair Oaks Mall in Virginia, but with one more floor.  Sam and I split (which is much more masculine than saying we shared) a lamb grill and I ordered a Turkish coffee aka cup of sludgey bitterness.  There is a "French Walmart" in the mall called Carrefour and I wanted to see what kind of groceries were available.  I ended up purchasing a liter of acidophilus milk (as close as I could get to kefir) and a 100g box of drinking chocolate.  I chugged most of the milk drink by the time we got to the souq and will use the chocolate tomorrow at work to improve some of our mediocre coffee.  Two possibilities: add the powder to the grounds in the filter or add a half spoonful to my coffee cup and pour the coffee into the cup.  I am leaning towards the latter approach since the cocoa is meant to be made into effectively hot cocoa.

Next we found a souq whereupon (how often do you get to use that word, huh?) one of my companions bargained for pearls and another got pearls for free.  The remaining two of us marveled at a German male wearing capri pants.  Oh and I saw a guy wearing camo crocs at lunch today before I left.

Then we went back to the regular souq.  We traveled down the same backstreets that were filmed in the movie "Beerfest" on their way to the drinking competition and were told that "everything is 70% off today."  I asked the sellers if they had any knives, quaiches or rosaries but they didn't have any.  So we found a Moroccan restaurant and sat on the roof.

...without the whole French occupation.

I spent less here than the previous restaurant and I think the food was even better I feasted on a Niçoise Salad (which sticks in my mind because I think there is a recipe for this in my mom's Betty Crocker cookbook that I referenced in 8th grade) and roasted camel (tastes like beef, another yummy cloven toed ruminant.

I think the stack on the right is hearts of palm.

Hump costs extra.

Boring I know, so I added butter and chili paste.

Downstairs we went for the local hooka.  I had a vanilla milkshake (not paleo/primal/whatever).  Sam speaks Arabic and told the waiter we are "boat engineers."  I started to list the life aquatic terms I am familiar with: transom (thank you Alan Jackson), mark twain (thank you Mark Twain) and James Bond evil villian method of transport.   

Incredibly full, we got back on base and I got back to my normal routine: did laundry, squats, overhead press and deadlifts.

Squats: 3x5x295
Press: 4-160, 4-155, 5-135
Deadlift: 4-405

I think I'll take the next week off due to more work coming up and will lower my weights on everything except deadlift and rows.

Returned two books to the library and donated four books to the free exchange.  I borrowed Dragonfly in Amber; who knows if I'll finish it in 17 days.

Oh and I think I could read War and Peace in the public bathrooms here, as they are much nicer than the bathrooms outside my trailer and more cozy than my wood-paneled room.

I'm going to ask Paul Hogan what a bidet is used for.

One Third of September

Pretty much Chewbacca if he shaved.

Today is Mexican Monday, hence Pancho Villa.  The bandoliers make me think of Chewbacca, although Pancho Villa was only 5' 10" whereas Peter Mayhew is 7' 3".  Other famous bandolier users are Rambo, Animal Mother in "Full Metal Jacket" and the pirate Blackbeard.  Back to the menu...I typically make a taco salad, aka two cups of taco ground meat on top of lettuce, onions, tomatoes, salsa and jalapenos (pain endorphins are fun).  Other options include tamales, enchiladas and make your own tacos.  This is every Monday for the last eleven Mondays.

The other night Sam and I mooched some coffee from another office who broadcast out their desire to share their coffee.  While displaying our skills at verbal banter and witty repartee, I heard the distinct whirr I hadn't heard in many moons: a coffee grinder.  I leaned around the table and lo and behold, coffee grinder.  The past two months I had been taking beans to the coffee shop and being made fun of in Arabic while I could have walked 100 feet away and used this grinder.  So tonight we enjoyed some strong San Francisco Organic Rainforest blend.  The bitterness was high, so maybe I don't need to fill the coffee filter to the top tomorrow night.

Finally met up with the guy I've been paired to tutor (tutee?  tutoree?) and reviewed basic speech giving structure and some math word problems.  The speech part was a fast thirty minutes and we spent a good hour and a half on math.  Most of the word problems were ratios, percentages or a unit conversion problem.  In the end, I provided systems to solve the various types of problems and some formulas and principles for my student to review on his own.  The fun part about being a teach is saying, "Go do your homework and we'll talk later."  Actually, maybe the best part would be seeing the light bulb come on in your student's eyes and then seeing their hands write you a check.

Tonight I learned that it is important to dispose of papers properly or you can get to help sort the trash.  You probably already know about Kevin Mitnick diving into dumpsters for technical manuals that phone companies would throw away and Cary Elwes creepy villain in "Kiss the Girls."  Well, the same can be done today except they look the number of your Facebook friends, the number of times you charge Starbucks on your credit card bill and how many jars of Vaseline you empty per month.  If you throw out the wrong things here (i.e. paperwork with your name on it), you get to help sort the trash.  This all is not to be confused with urban picking or freeganism, where folks will look for recently expired food in dumpsters.

Now that you have yesterday's steak in your head, here's what I ate two hours ago:

I am powered by animals.

My plate is 5 parts beef, 3 parts chicken eggs and 100% delicious.

Maggie Rose!

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to the Maggie Rose concert on base.  She is a kind of Madonna/Mindy McCready amalgam.  I'd never heard her music before, but I saw the posters advertising her concert and thought if I had the chance I'd go.  Her newest single is called "Better" and is written for those people going through tough times.  Another of her originals is called "Preacher's Daughter" in which someone commits
murder.  She let us in on a secret: the murderer is based on a guy she was dating who only came to her place and met her friends.  Then she found out he was married.  With a child.  And he was the deacon at the local church.  Wow.  Gotta watch out for those deacons.

In addition to her own works, she did covers of Michael Jackson's "The Way you Make Me Feel," Styx's "Renegade," Charlie Daniel's Band's "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and Fleetwood Mac's "Listen to the Wind Blow."  Her band is comprised of a lead guitar, a bass guitar, keyboard, drums, a back up singer and a violinist.  So she pretty much had to play Devil.

There were some pretty talented dancers that weren't afraid to show their skills during the concert.  I was impressed at that and the number of folks who brought cowboy boots to the desert.  I have cowboy
boots, but it never entered my mind to bring them with me.  "Ok, let's see here: 4 uniforms; check.  Toiletries; check.  Prescriptions; check.  PT gear; check.  Clothing appropriate for a San Antonio dancehall; check."

During the concert, some people were buying drinks, some were smoking, some were just enjoying the humidity.  I am pretty sure I was the only one taking notes.

I stopped in to the library (big surprise) after the concert and before the autograph line.  I was testing the limits of the borrowing system and tried to borrow four books when I was informed I could only borrow two at a time.  When I admitted I already have two now, I was told I better get readin'.

I waited in line for over 30 minutes to get an autographed picture of Maggie Rose, the country music star I only heard of a week ago (and who, according to Wikipedia, is only 26).  While waiting, they passed out a card with access to download her latest album, "Cut to Impress."  So, if you'd like to download the songs, you should go to her concert like I did.

When she asked me how I liked it here, I told her it was not bad and she replied, "You don't sound convinced."  She told the crowd she is from the DC area, so she wrote, "Hope to see you back in DC!" on the photograph.  I'm going to hold her to that.  I think that was her way of nicely saying, "I'm going to hunt you down."

Skull and mustache.  Yikes.

This is what your tax dollars are paying for.

If you are going to be a groupie, might as well get a few pictures so I found the bass guitarist and the drummer and begged them for photographic evidence that my mustache didn't repel them.  I found someone to take a picture and handed him my camera, upon which he remarked, "I haven't used a camera like this in a long time."  Then my camera's batteries died.  So bass guitarist handed him her phone and then emailed me the picture above.  She signed the email, "Thanks for what you do for our country.  Your mustache looks like a caterpillar."

I know what you are thinking: yes, I do have the same Lynyrd Skyrnd shirt.

I figured the three plastic cups of red wine I downed during the concert (my maximum allowed) needed a friend, so after my steak and coleslaw meal I decided to purchase the very non-paleo Dates Frappalatte.  After the Coffee Beanery manager sarcastically asked where the coffee beans were, his staff informed me that the beverage in question contained dates, ice cream, caramel sauce and whipped cream.  You only live once (YOLO), so I got the big size.

Dates + coffee = health food.

My workout tonight was just consuming the huge coffee.  Tomorrow or the next day I'm going to do front and back squats.

Smug

That mustache says, "Your opinion is beneath me."

So the pencil thin Clark Gable mustache must take a lot of trimming and a straight razor.  No way CG could end up with a barely-there smoke filter with a Mach 3.  I have not seen the classic "Gone With the Wind," but Rhett Butler has been described as, "a black sheep, who was expelled from West Point and is not received by any family with reputation in the whole of Charleston, and perhaps all of South Carolina."  (This isn't a term paper; I can quote Wikipedia.)  More importantly, Bugs Bunny was based on Clark Gable's performance in "It Happened One Night."  Bugs Bunny basically had a mustache, too.

At work, you pretty much have to follow the news.  That or cricket.  I have no idea what is going on with cricket (Why wear a polo shirt to a sports match?  I guess that shirt got its name from polo...), so CNN, Fox and BBC supply me with ad infinitum "news" coverage.  Recently, I found out that:

• President Obama played spades during the OBL raid.  I guess he couldn't get the White House IT guys to install Minesweeper.
• CNN says artificial sweetener isn't "bad" for you.  
• Fox News: Coffee could lead linked to a premature death.  Hmmm
• First, the word "linked" and the first paragraph's "...it's possible..." means the jury is still out on this one.
• Second, admittedly, 4 cups a day is probably more than most people drink.  The phrase "increase a person's chance of dying by 21%" could mean different things.  Does that mean increase from from a really, really little bitty chance to a really little bitty plus 21%, aka still !@#$ing small?  Or does it mean it was 50%, you drank a quart of Sumatra, now you have a 71% chance of dying today?  Same question for the male increase of 56%.  Wonder why they don't say "increased by 100%" instead of twofold.  Probably because people understand "chances now equal previous chances times two" rather than "Is times 2 50%?  100%  2000%?"
• Over 17 years a lot can happen.  Was the coffee black?  Was there added sugar, nutrasweet, milk, soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk, MCT oil, heavy cream or maybe Grandma's Molasses?
• It was noted that 32% of the deaths (804 of 2512 dead; total subjects were 43,727) were due to cardiovascular reasons.  So, by their findings, you have a 1.83% chance of dying from heart disease if you drink a quart of coffee a day.  The abstract doesn't mention the other 68% of death reasons.  So, did the coffee cause cardiovascular issues (I doubt it) and if so, how?
• This could be a correlation, not a causation, i.e. people who drink 32oz of coffee a day, might be doing other things that lead to an early grave, such as staying up too late, eating too many refined carbohydrates, or preparing for a movie role.
• It appears that Fox News just summarized the abstract, but left out the most important part: "However, this finding should be assessed in future studies of other populations." 

My dad told me to believe half of what I hear and none of what I see.  Thomas Jefferson said, "The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."  

Purchased some BCAAs from the BX tonight.  We'll see how wise and wonderful my middle name is...

Bench press
Warmup: 10, 6, 4 bodweight chinups
Workout: 5-210, 5-210, 5-210, 5-225, 4-225
Cooldown: 7 bodweight chinups

I am unoriginal with my post workout meal!

Anyone know of a gluten free sausage and gravy recipe?

You are not Mark Wahlberg's brother.

A Walk in the Sand

This post will be short.  I've been awake (mostly) for 20 hours and am ready to zonk out.  Today I got to visit the local city, so the sun beat down on me for 6 hours.  We walked around a local souq and perused the rugs, satchels, guns, knives, jewelry, rings, wooden boxes, parrots, nuts, chocolates and other knick-knacks.  The three of us bought fresh squeezed juice (I had limon with mint, which looked like a green slushy), drove around for a while and then had lunch.  Spent the equivalent of $50 for an appetizer, meal, desert and coffee.  Not too bad for a pretty fancy restaurant.

I'll post more tomorrow after I download some pictures and reset my leptin and ghrelin.

Also, today was wing day at the DFAC.  I ate 28.

Chicken fried steak isn't the best meat for me, but better than others.

Points

Tonight I have two slightly conflicting dress and appearance comments.  A 1st Lt saluted me and then told me my rank on my at was crooked, about a "million miles" to the side.  He must be an academy grad with a B.S. in business administration.  Twenty minutes later I was approaching the gate to my building and a colonel was coming towards me.  "No Salute area" sign be damned, I saluted and he greeted me with a very sincere, "Nice 'Stache."  No hint of sarcasm detected, although my sarcasm detector could be inhibited by the humidity.  Based on rank, I'm going to call it a net win for the day.

While waiting for the cleaning crew to let us back into the laundry building tonight, I walked over to the coffee shop to get another bag of beans ground.  As soon as I walked into the shop, the guys there were like "How many bags tonight?"  I only had one bag to grind and turned to watch the Bollywood show on the TV.  Someone behind me said, "Are you going to do that [crazy Indian dance moves]?"  I turned around and there was a smiling female, apparently not scared off by my Tom Selleck impersonator.  She and her male companion (didn't see rings, so I'm guessing it's a deployment relationship) wanted to me take a picture of them, so I completed my good turn daily and scored one more mustached point.

If you are male and considering wearing crocs, just ask yourself the following question first: Did John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Tom Selleck, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable or Steve Prefontaine wear crocs?  The answer is no if you didn't realize it.  Same goes for mustaches, but the inverse is true.  Tan or sage green crocs don't make them better.  If you are under the age of 16, you get a pass.

Update: Yes I realize that the above named individuals probably wouldn't wear Vibram Fivefingers.  For that matter they probably wouldn't blog, make their own pickles or read books on improving their marriages.  I'll pick and choose stereotypes as I need them.

Warmup: 4 82lb weighted dips (I put 3 25lb plates in my backpack, which put a strain on the Oakley)
Workout: Deadlifts: 5-300, 5-315, 5-335, 3-365 and 3-385
Cooldown: 4 135lb squat cleans

My grip is failing on the 3rd rep, but this is a 25lb gain in two weeks.  If this keeps up, I should be looking at a max deadlift around 460 by the end of September.

Trying to keep the carbs down yet again...

If this would have had some roe and veal, I would have had a balanced meal.

My first time at the Fox Sports bar here and my first glass plastic cup of wine in almost two months.

This is my drinking shirt.

Also, the 'stache wins at cutthroat.

The table has multiple stains on it, has duct tape over one pocket and smells like pickles.

Final note: for those of you not familiar, we are only allowed three drinks a day.  Each drink you buy, they put a big blue chalk mark on your forehead.  If you look like you should be playing drums in a show with two other bald guys in Vegas, you don't get any more drinks.  I only had two servings of Merlot tonight.

Henry Chinaski

Charles Bukowski.  Wow.  If you've seen Barfly or that other one with Matt Dillon, you probably thought to yourself, "My life isn't so bad."  Check this one out.  I don't think it's depressing, but rather that it gives you a healthier perspective on those you might be competing with in your life.

Here are two of my bad poems I wrote last night.  Someone smart once said, "If you are afraid to write badly, you'll never write well."

Smiling Foreigners
dying, buzzing insects
grinding, happy gears
eight foamy coffees
thousands of dollars
multihued national flags
sarcastic symbolic stickers
scoop, scoop, scoop
green exit dances on the stones

Held together with glue
wimpy burgers on edge
happy energy sodas exclaim
cloudy Canadian border beasts
rabbit bikini contests
let's get weird

It interesting to see and hear the rules of thumb that people in the gym and dining facility go by.  Supersets...don't eat the egg yolks...don't eat too much...eat enough carbs...I worked out today so I'll eat a gallon of ice cream.  I kind ran out of steam there, but you get the point.  How much of what we "know as truth" is truly true and how much has been parroted around the world for decades without anyone questioning it?

Feel pretty good about increasing my squat weight by 15lbs since the 23rd.

Warmup: 4 chinups and 6 dips with 27.5lb dumbbell
Workout: Squats: 5-230, 5-235, 5-245, 5-250, 5-260
Cooldown: 3 chinups with 33lb dumbbell

Basically made a postworkout meal of mostly fat and fiber.

The end.

Movies and music!

Here's another famous mustache.  This song always makes me think of Coke Zero commercials that came on before movies about ten years ago.  Said that drinking a soda with aspartame and acesulfame potassium can make fake people in commercials so happy.

I've finally watched the TEDx video by Dr. Terry Wahls and how she transformed herself from unable to walk to riding horses.  She didn't make the change with drugs.

One more TED talk.  It's only 9 minutes; he stutters but has a very interesting message.

Not Paleo at all - took a Power Run energy tab tonight, mostly to appease my coworker who is still coping with switching shift times.  He was not interested in taking one, thinking the 5 hours would keep him up too late.  My reservation revolved around the sugar and corn syrup, but seeing as it only contained 2g of sugar in the bitter tasting tablet I consented. 

Hypothesis = Tom Cruise movies entail Tom Cruise playing himself (arrogrant, cocky athletic man in charge).

• 1996 Mission Impossible - Ethan Hunt ; twist = his boss is a bad guy
• 2000 Mission Impossible II - Ethan Hunt again
• 2001 Vanilla Sky - David Aames (billionaire, arrogant playboy); twist = he's dreaming
• 2002 Minority Report - John Anderton (lead cop); twist = his boss is a bad guy and rigged the system
• 2003 The Last Samurai - Nathan Algren (depressed former Army Capt); twist = former boss is a bad guy; swords are cool
• 2004 Collateral - never saw it, but he's an old looking hitman
• 2005 War of the Worlds - Ray Ferrier (alpha male troop leader)
• 2006 MI:3 - no explanation needed
• 2007 Lions for Lambs - Sen Jasper Irving
• 2008 Tropic Thunder - Les Grossman (alpha record producer)
• 2008 Valkyrie - Col Claus von stauffenberg (kills Nazis)
• 2010 Knight and Day - Roy Miller (basically a happier Ethan Hunt)
• 2011 MI Ghost Protocol - yeah, they keep making these movies
• 2012 Jack Reacher - Jack Reacher (spy badass)
• 2013 Oblivion - Jack Harper (not sure why they didn't change first names from last year, astronaut/point man with a gun); twist = aliens

...so maybe "Oblivion" isn't that bad when compared to previous chapters of Tom Cruise's life.

The generous, smiling foreigners (I guess I am a foreigner now...) ground my beans again; two pounds this time.  Thanks go out to the Rogers Family for their coffee donations (got 8 more pounds from them today).

Warmup: 6 chinups with a 22lb dumbbell between my feet
Workout: Bench press: 5-195, 5-205, 5-215, 5-225, 2-230 (got 5 with help)
Cooldown: Bench press 5-185, 5 dips w/ 27.5lb dumbbell and 3 chinups with same dumbbell

Fast breakfast dinner

4 eggs over medium, chicken and beef sausage

This must be a burial mound for a baby Jedi.

I need a new Tom Tom.  Round abound.

Don't drink coffee...sometimes

Coffee is hard on the adrenal glands, depletes your bones of magnesium and has been known to run away with the spoon, but I decided to just have two cups of Earl Grey tea tonight, with some medium chain triglyceride (MCT) oil added in for fun.  We'll see if skipping the coffee and eating an earlier dinner help me get to sleep closer to around the time the sun is getting up.

...I haven't given coffee up forever, just avoided it tonight.

Apparently Styrofoam cups can't handle the heat generated by the kettle at work and the MCT oil.  A crack showed up in the cup where my plastic MRE spoon stirred and scraped away from foam and a globule of tea sprang.  I'll stick to my "eco-friendly" coffee cup and just pretend my tea doesn't taste like yesterday's coffee.

After finishing Sherlock Holmes last night, there is a definite theme of "19th century London stepdad's wanted their stepdaughters' inheritance and would lie to no end to keep it."  If Sherlock Holmes existed today in America, he'd be encountered with the denizens of Fox's "Cops."  As it turns out the final four short stories wound up as follows:

• "The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb"; engineer loses thumb while programming a computer; Holmes snorts cocaine due to a counterfeiter's axe; they get away with some of their fake coins
• "The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor"; a woman is to be married to a young man; man is her father; Holmes does nothing an English Lord; woman was already married whose husband was presumed dead and is at the ceremony; woman flees with husband; Holmes finds the couple and makes them tell the Lord
• "The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet"; Colonel Mustard steals a crown; Holmes in opium den Banker holds a crown in his home (already a dumb idea) while crown is collateral for a loan; boyfriend of his neice steals it; Holmes recognizes that banker's son did not do it
• "The Adventure of the Copper Beeches"; Holmes stops the Nazis This was one disturbing...Man seeks a nanny for his son and requires that the nanny look like his sick daughter; nanny is forced to cut her hair, hired and then acts out scenes to ward off the daughter's fiance; eventually the fiance and daughter escape and the man and is wife are (slightly) reformed.  Holmes solves mystery, which was again, a father/stepfather wanting his daughters inheritance.  

I've finished David Sedaris' book Naked, which was very funny.  His career seems to be based on his own admitted laziness, description of casual drug and alcohol use and the absurd descriptions of some common things he's gone through in his life.

It's a rest day, but I did do 50 air squats at my desk.  I tend to slouch, lean to the left and crookedify myself in my office chair.

Very unoriginally (I know it's not really a word) I decided to have two pieces of steak, two eggs over hard and a salad.  The combination of olive oil, red vinegar, white vinegar and lemon juice, with a healthy raining of salt, is quite delicious.  No pictures tonight; decided to travel sans backpack and accouterments to the cafeteria.

This is the end of this blog post.  I had something else to add written in my notebook, but left that little red notebook at work.  Tomorrow!

Last night I updated my books read log in Google Drive using the notes I've kept since 2003.  Starting with the Silmarillion and ending today with Me Talk Pretty One Day, I've read 308 books in 11 years, counting ebooks and audio CDs.  If you are interested in genres or what I've read, comment or email me.

Simpler

After doing some reading about my workout, I decided to simplify it even more.  I'll do less reps in my warmup, focus on one big exercise (bench, shoulder press, deadlifts and squats, maybe cleans) and then do a short cooldown/skill.  Tonight I think I didn't do enough weight in my bench since I did a bunch of mini cooldowns.  Anyway...

Warmup: 6 chinups, 6 weighted (my 7.5lb backpack) chinups, 6 weighted dips, 6 pushups
Workout: bench press: 5-185, 5-190, 5-195, 5-200, 5-210 with a 5min rest between sets
Cooldown: Bench press 4-175, 45lb plate lifts, standing dumbbell tricep presses: 2-80, 1-90, 6 handstand pushup progressions

Focusing on protein...oh and that isn't my milk

Here is my destankify orange peels...not sure if they do much, but no mice came by.

Howl

My improved key fob...no other dorm room key like it

They night manager at the coffee beanery ground the whole coffee beans sent to Sam by the Rogers Family again.  I felt obliged, so I bought a vanilla/almond tea (didn't want caffeine at 3am).  Afterwards, he asked me where I keep getting the coffee (his coworkers must have told him I've brought about 5lbs of beans to be ground).  He must have wondered where on the base I was getting these things.  I let him know a company from the states sent them.  If only there was a company that sent free coffee grinders, french presses and Brita Filters.

...and a poem to go to sleep by.

Weathered

Dusty souls
pause
breathe
calm
Side sleeping simian
hanging on for dear life
saving stopping evil doers

Two white hairs

No picture included; you'll just have to believe me: I have two distinct white hairs on the left side of my mustache.  I'm well on my way to a fully-formed old-man beard ala Jeff Bridges.

Warmup: 15 dips, 8 pullups, 8 feet to bar, 10 good mornings and 15 overhead squats

Workout: Push press: 10-95lbs, 9-95, 8-115, 7-115, 6-135, 5-155, 4-155, 3-165, 2-175 & 1-195

Cooldown: 12 deadlifts @ 225

Dinner was steak, more steak, salmon (thus endeth the s-foods), carrots and green beans slathered in "olive oil" (I don't really trust the labels on the food out here, but it's the best I can do without buying a hot plate for my room).

Steak number two is hiding

Many thanks to Edleez Tobacco for the free cigars to send to troops overseas.  I've donated to the local cigar club (so far I doubt the existence of smoking jackets) and sent some to some of the guys I work with.

Here's one of the smoking gazebos near my room:

It's like the people who built it are telling smokers, "You can smoke here, but you're going to have to walk on stones instead of the sidewalk."

Also have to thank the Rogers Family for the coffee they send to troops as well.  Much better than the Folgers I found in the back of the cabinet at work or the black liquid they try to pass off as coffee in the dining facility.  Today during breakfast I poured half a cup and couldn't even bring it to near face it smelled so bad...similar to boiled used car oil.

Stopped by the BX to see if they had any new free comics, which basically entail The Avengers helping some troops during a random daily event (walking in an airport, brushing teeth, reading the latest updated AFIs or trimming nosehairs).  Oh yeah: they aren't for me, they are for my son.  For perspective, here's what the BX looks like:

Frank Lloyd Wright, eat your heart out

Grammar: even British people and panda bears literally pay attention to grammar.

The Gourds

My work cell phone here is from circa 1998 and has 13 digits.  It's weird and sad at the same time.

I just got back from saying goodbye to two guys, working out and eating.  It was my first time in the Fox Sports bar...I had envisioned drunken revelry and peer pressure to chug German lagers (not old German lager).  Instead it was rather brightly lit and quiet.  I said my well-wishes and then...

Warmup: 15 situps, 15 back extensions, 15 pushups, 15 bar overhead squats and 8 pullups

Workout: 15-12-9 115lb hang cleans and burpees; 10:04

Cooldown: 15 dips and 10 feet to bar

Post workout meal consisted of the 4 S's: steak, steak, sauerkraut and salad.  To wit:

On my way back from the dining facility, I saw a guy talking to a girl outside one of the Cadillacs (a concrete common bathroom).  He was trying to convince the girl of something and he looked at me and said, "...just ask him."  I recognized him from the gym, but couldn't imagine a scenario where they were arguing about dips: "Dips in the gym are when you lower yourself in a hanging position, not ranch, bleu cheese and barbeque!"  I stopped and said, "Ask me what?"  To which the female inquired, "Why are there cameras pointed at the Female's door to the Cadillac?"  The obvious answer is that some bozo(s) were caught going into the females bathroom or lurking outside...guys must realize this without thinking too much and women not so much.

The workers (I don't think they quite rank as baristas) ground another bag of organic whole beans for me.  For some reason, companies sending coffee to soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen must assume coffee grinders come in MREs or deployment bags or something.  

I'm sure the inside of your local Starbucks looks just like this door

Before I went in to work today, I regaled myself with the music of The Gourds.  The only song I know is their remake of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice."  Enjoy.