Nutty

The last few days I've been getting a lot of calories from coconuts, almonds and macadamias.  It is delicious, creamy and tastes like a not too sweet dessert.  I found my replacement tonight, got him set up in his room and made sure the base knows he exists and decided due to the humidity and my own laziness that almond butter, macadamias and shredded coconut equals my dinner.

You don't have a triceratops guarding the lid to your macadamia nuts?  

Thanks again to my wife and those of you who contributed to my collection of nut butters and salty goodness.

In my reading, both online and in print, I've been looking up ways in which to improve my diet and workouts.  I'm also a fan of simplifying things so I can spend more time reading Batman comics and video chatting with my family.  All of the reading has probably reinforced any biases I already held to be true and more recently, confused me.  Here's what I've read:

• Carbohydrates spike insulin, which leads to weight gain and will kill you.  Eventually.  Probably.
• An all meat diet could be an acceptable approach, especially if it includes whale blubber.  Check local Whole Foods freezer sections for availability.
• Just eat real food.  Potato starch has shown to improve several health factors if eaten correctly.
• Sleep is required.
• Drink milk!  Maybe.
• Calories do count.  Too high a protein level can spike insulin or at least inhibit fat loss.
• Excess iron causes cancer.
• Squat.

This leads to "paralysis by analysis" or "angry at internet bloggersitis" which is an acute inflammation of the frontal lobe, preventing telekinesis.  

Anyway, the following are possible truths:

• Maybe eating 5 medium steaks in 6 hours isn't necessary (obviously delicious).  Same with 20 hot wings.
• Some carbohydrates post workout might be okay.  Here at the DFAC, the limited options are: hash browns, tater tots, corned beef hash or sweet potatoes covered in sugar syrup.  
• Maybe I should chug milk and squat heavy (google squats and milk at your own risk).  I'll look into this when I get home.
• I sit too much, at work and at home.
• I should focus on better, longer sleep.  

So yeah, my replacement is here and I'll spend the next month training him and baring all my faults to him so he can be a better ops dude than I was.  Hopefully he can answer the questions "Who would win in a battle royale: Superman or Batman?" and "Who is the greater superhero and why: Superman or Batman?" by the time I leave.

Lastly, Russell Brand is hilarious and probably smarter than you would guess.

Coconut

Coconut oil, coconut manna, coconut/cacao bliss, coconut hips, coconut cream, tea and almond butter.  Triceratops.

Mail day!  I got a package from Lauren that contained a Filipino's dream: roasted coconut chips, dark chocolate nutty bits, herbal teas, six maple almond butter packets, two cans coconut cream, coconut oil, cacao bliss and coconut manna.  And a stegosaurus figure.  I already ate two three of the almond butter packets, poured some coconut cream in my coffee tonight and ate half of the coconut chips.  The coffee and almond packets kept me full for five hours.  Did not open the cacao bliss or manna yet, but did tear into the Nutty Bits.  I did not bring these back to my room or they would be gone while I watched Taylor Swift videos.

The stegosaurus  triceratops will help keep me safe at night.  Ok so I thought that was a stegosaurus at first glance.  Whoops.  Or whoops.

She also sent my new credit card and I promptly used it to order some Steve's Beef jerky, beef sticks and a paleo MRE (1100 calories).  I've been meaning to try some of these for a while and I just hope they get here before I leave.  "Hey that guy Jordan was nice; I hope he ordered more stuff right before he left.  I could use a new pair of boots."  If you want to check them out, go here.

Bennifer Wayne: Ben Affleck will be playing Batman in the "Batman vs. Superman" movie coming out in two years, which will be directed by Zack Snyder (the same guy who directed "Man of Steel").  He already played Daredevil, so why not?  Let Matt Damon play Robin.  Jennifer Garner can play Catwoman.  And his brother Casey can play the Riddler.

Very sore from deadlifts last night, so no workout.

I know, I know: I forgot the butter.